


Cold

by memes4gayteens



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, aot, snk - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angst, Armin's a lil shit, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mild Gore, Reincarnation AU, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-02-24 13:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2583476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memes4gayteens/pseuds/memes4gayteens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reincarnation seems to have fucked up a lot for the 104th, not to mention everybody else, but especially Annie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Queen

It's cold.

Then again, it has always been cold for the blonde sitting on her awfully big throne, a curly haired brunet sitting on one of the armrests.

"My lovely Annie, what are you going to do?" The other asked rather curiously, big brown eyes focusing on the blonde's glacier-like ones. 

"Something."

The brunet rolls her eyes, throwing her head back to let out a laugh, "no duh, are you going up to the Human World? You know, a lot of people don't think you'll actually leave to go and find them," she murmurs while looking up at the ceiling. "I personally think they could never be more wrong."

That last sentence actually got a small smile out of the pensive blonde sitting like a porcelain doll on her throne, "we must inform young Arlert and Jäger at once," Annie speaks with a tone of finality.

Immediately the brunet slides off the armrests and holds out her hand for her Highness, bowing as she does so. Annie takes her hand without an ounce of hesitance and gets up from her throne as the brunet stands up straight once again. She grabs Annie's hand-leading her down the stairs like the Queen she is.

They exit the room without saying a word, guards bowing as Annie passes by and makes her way towards the boys she's searching for-the brunet close to her Queen.

Annie is the Queen of Hell; Annie is Satan.


	2. Happiness Isn't for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm Arlert loving trash and I don't know what to say about the feelings. Bits and pieces will make sense soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened.

It's like a flash of bad dreams; nightmares that just don't seem to leave, and Annie figures everything she's done landed her the spot of what Humanity sees as the worst being possible.

She can't quite say she disagrees.

There was so much blood, death piled up, and the smell of decaying bodies along with fire was heavy in the air. There was so much that had went wrong back then, so much the blonde thinks back on while silently suffering.

There's so much that has gone wrong in this time as well, but what is there to do?

"Eren, Armin," Annie utters softly and instantly a messy haired brunet shows up with a blond boy being held in his arms.

"Annie," the brunet acknowledges.

The blonde nods at him and then seemingly stands up straighter, "we're going up to the Human world, Eren."

Abruptly the younger one in Eren's arms disentangles himself from the physically older boy's arms and lands on the ground with a graceful thud, grabbing a hold of Eren's shirt sleeve.

"If I may ask, your Highness, why are we going to the Human world? If I remember correctly, we must refrain from heading to the Human world unless absolutely necessary," the young blond boy asks rather politely, not afraid of speaking out of turn or his tone of voice.

Annie takes the physically younger boy's words into consideration and uncharacteristically crouches down in front of him so they can both see each other eye-to-eye.

"Now, Armin, Eren and you both are under my command, no?"

Armin nods his head once and so does Eren as he watches the exchange with curious turquoise eyes.

"We're going to find everybody else."

Eren's eyes widen as does Armin's for a brief second before he understands and tugs on Eren's sleeve to stop him from saying anything else as he utters out a, "but your Highness-"

Annie resumes her standing position as her personal guard frowns sadly at the scene, the brunet women having lost any motivation to continue a playful banter and the blonde clasps her hands in front of her with a posture showing strength and pride.

"With that being said, get ready, we must leave as soon as possible," Annie responds stiffly, exiting the room with the brunet women following; close at her Queen's heels.

Silence drags on throughout the long corridors until the female guard speaks out of turn, "why are you doing this, Annie?"

Shoulders stiffen slighty, but Annie continues walking, steps never faltering along with her straight posture, yet her hands are curled into fists at her sides and her hands begin to shake with withheld emotion.

"I can't always keep them here, Leslie, you know this," she forcefully says, voice cracking painfully near the end.

Leslie shakes her head, "they enjoy being with you, Annie."

Annie stops walking and so does Leslie.

The blonde sighs quietly and stares down at the tile floor, "no, no, they don't. Not when freedom is so close in their case," she pauses. "I am not important here nor there to them. They will be much happier with their loved ones."

Leslie's eyebrows furrow and her face scrunches up at Annie's words, "what about you?"

Annie looks over her shoulder towards the brunet, "me?" She asks while sounding almost thoughtful and then looks away while responding with words that broke the brunet's heart in two.

_"Happiness isn't something I deserve."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.


	3. You Deserve So Much More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mina Carolina everyone.

_"Mina, please tell me I did what's right."_

Annie's tone of voice is almost grave, grief lacing her apathetic feautures and ice cold, tortured eyes as her hands fist the fabric of her dress to the extent of her knuckles turning a sickening white. The blonde paces in her room at a rapid speed-second guessing the rash decision she had made and abrupt need to act upon it.

The dark haired girl frowns at her dear friend, growing increasingly worried, yet staying calm because she is not the one who needs to be looked after right now.

"You did what you  _thought_ was right, Annie," Mina replies, ocean blue eyes following the other's every movement.

Annie's eyes narrow vehemently as she spits out words practically laced with poison, "what I think is  _'right'_ isn't always right."

Mina sighs and sits on the blonde's empty bed, remembering all the times Annie has called her down to her bedroom because her large bed is  _too_ empty; so lonesome and absolutely terrifying after each wretched nightmare that haunts Annie in her sad borderline between asleep and dreadfully awake.

Mina can't help but feel sympathy for her friend because while other's might not think so, she believes Annie deserves so much more than this. She deserves peace at mind and a sense of serenity. She deserves that other's see her for who she honestly is; not as some monster that sits like a statue on her throne.

"Annie, you did what you feel is right, stop second-guessing yourself."

Annie focuses on Mina once again, rosy lips set into a deep frown, eyebrows furrowed, and ice blue eyes demanding, questioning, shattering,  _ **"how?"**_

At that moment, Mina's expression of concern crumbles into pure desperation;a sadness so unavoidable that Annie almost feels guilty for making such a face cross her friend's lovely features.

_Almost._

  _"Believe_ in yourself, Annie," Mina rasps out, a knot growing in her throat as her eyes begin to water. "You're so much more than all this, you just have to believe so. You have to  _believe_ that you deserve so much more; that _you_ are so much more!" Before she knows it, she's practically yelling, hands balled into fists and digging into the expensive bed spread beneath her fingers.

Annie simply watches, eyes stone cold and arms at her side as she doesn't dare to utter a word. She may be Queen of Hell, but she has never seen Mina angry, and will not belittle her due to her position on the social structure. She knows better than that, and just how she knows not to move or say a word, she knows instantly when to get out of Mina's way.

Mina abruptly gets up from the large, lonesome bed and heads for the door, opening it and without glancing back, furiously calls to the small blonde, "I'll watch over your kingdom if that's what you want."

Terse and angry she is while Annie trembles, her voice thick with withheld emotion,  _"I don't want **any** of this."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate Mina. I love her. She's a great person, just a bit frustrated.


	4. Never Been Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Annie have a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I have returned from the dead.
> 
> Enjoy!

Echoing throughout desolate hallways made of marble and expensive granite are faint footsteps. The cause a mere young man with odd turquoise eyes, brunet hair messy, and nose scrunched up in concentration.

His Queen has been acting strange lately, and Armin refuses to tell him what's wrong with her. Those two have always had amazing communication-Armin can understand the Queen with short scrutiny and simple listening skills. Unfortunately, Eren has never been very good with either of those things, so he goes about these situations in a blunt manner.

Yes, much like right now.

The knocking on the hard wood door resounds throughout the emptiness of the corridor and Eren stares straight ahead at the door, focusing on the intricate designs in the wood. He hears nothing for quite some time: no shuffling or steps or even a sound of acknowledgement at the sound.

Seconds turn to minutes, and minutes soon turn to an hour, two hours, two and a half, and as time goes on, Eren waits. Then, as if by some sort of miracle, the door is suddenly cracked open.

Eren, patiently seated against the wall, begins to stand up and dust himself off when he hears slow steps to the door. He faces the door once again and watches as his Queen's indifferent expression appears. She looks absolutely awful despite the fact that she attempts to hide it, and Eren forgives her without so much as a second thought for leaving him seated on the hard floor for so long.

"Your Highness," he murmurs as greeting while making his way into the blonde's room.

"Eren," she tersely responds, shutting the door and turning to face him.

"I saw Mina earlier today," the brunet says, glancing away from her as he straightens out the wrinkles on the bed spread.

There's an exhale of air, but Eren doesn't look back at her. He knows she needs to put her mask back on; compose herself and remain rather emotionless.

Eren finds it sad. He wants to see Annie full of life. He wants to see her laugh, and smile, and joke around with friends, but instead of a normal life they got stuck with something else. Again.

It's then that Eren makes the decision to turn around and gather Annie in his arms; tears running down her face, eyes puffy and rimmed with red. Instead of pushing him away, she holds him closer and Eren feels useful this way; comforting her.

Annie repeats sorry's and wipes at her eyes continuously as the brunet holds her in his embrace. 

Eren softly shushes her. He's always known the Cold Queen has never truly been cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When will I finally move along with the plot? I don't know! Let's find out some time


	5. "How Do You Feel?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie thinks about some stuff and so does Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update. Wowie, would ya look at that! I'm pretty happy with this one, too. I mean, you're all getting to know these characters, and I'm getting to know them too in a way 'cause now it's finally being written, and I think this is all just so exciting!
> 
> Anyway, I really wanna thank those of you that read this and all that jazz. That all means a lot to me. I wanna briefly warn you lovelies though, this has a very short lived mention of blood and reopened wounds in a figurative sense. It's just a precaution. I want you all to be okay.
> 
> Alright, that's all. I hope you all enjoy this update. Please, review, like, w.e.

Morning comes very abruptly for Annie the next day, her memory is foggy after being confronted by Eren last night, but she distinctly recalls telling him to stay. Annie admits that she was weak, pathetic even, so many times she's let others witness her process of self-destruction. That never stops her from feeling irritated with herself and embarrassed at having been so pain stakingly open.

Her father used to tell her _, "don't trust anyone, Annie, especially not with your emotions." ___

She would believe him. She believed anything her father said because at that time, he was all she had. Now, she doesn't even have her father, she has faded memories, bits and pieces are missing, and he's nothing more than a dark figure. The blonde no longer remembers what he looked like, or how he sounded.

These thoughts used to hurt her, they would reopen her wounds and rejoice in the blood spilling from each one just so she could bleed out poetry. She would write until her hand cramped up, or until the words no longer flowed out in a manner that left her feeling so satisfyingly empty. It was an emptiness that didn't pulse within her ribcage and left her feeling unsettled. It was much more pleasant, and she would constantly repeat this, just to relieve herself of the unbearable throbbing sadness she would experience that ached her very bones.

Annie slowly begins to sit up in bed, aware of the fact that Eren is laying in bed besides her. There are times when her title (as well as their's) is forgotten for moments such as these. It's when they're actually just two _"people" _, so to speak. Annie enjoys these moments the most, to be honest, she doesn't have to act like the entirety of Hell wants her to. She's mostly seen as cold with a determination to have everything running smoothly.__

__Everybody down below believes it to be out of her own gain, yet Annie never once thinks of using her status to do selfish things. The small blonde merely thinks of her people, and enforces justice for all. She has many types of people down in Hell, many for trivial matters, and the serious ones in a seperate area she checks up on every now and then. Least to say, Annie is busy, and the few people from outside the castle who know her absolutely adore her. At times they find her personality off putting, but they know that that is simply how their Queen is._ _

__A small sound pulls Annie away from her rapidly changing train of thought as she glances back down at the brunet next to her. He seems to have fallen asleep in his uniform, and suddenly, Annie feels a bit guilty. She figures that must not have been very comfortable for Eren, and decides to make it up to him when his eyes begin to lazily flutter open._ _

__Annie watches in content as Eren squints at the sunlight filling the room and hurting his eyes. The blonde considers that his fault, though, since he _was _supposed to close them before they retired for the night. Either way, she had no problem waking up, and she isn't about to walk half way across the room on cold tile with no socks on just to appease Eren's unnaturally colored eyes.___ _

____"I see you've finally woken up," Annie murmurs, not staring directly at the brunet, but instead out the window across her bed._ _ _ _

____Eren hums, clearly still sleepy, but aware of the fact that he has to wake up since his Queen is. He rubs at his eyes with his fists before sitting up and speaking, "yeah, I slept really well." It then seems that their situation catches up with Eren's fuzzy mind._ _ _ _

____He proceeds to tack on a poorly timed, "by the way, how do you feel?"_ _ _ _

____Annie smiles when she hears that, and turns to look back at Eren with her usual expression of indifference before saying, "better. Thank you."_ _ _ _

____Eren grins, happy to have been there for Annie when she was obviously quite hurt. The brunet knows that he'll continue to be there for Annie whether she likes it or not, and so will their other friends. It's going to take time, but soon she'll see._ _ _ _

____Eren and Annie then begin their morning routines._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They'll be leaving in like, a chapter or so. You guys curious about the angels 'cause oh damn, I am!
> 
> Hey, if you wanna chat about this fic or anything else just shoot me an ask at memes4gayteens.tumblr.com! I'd love to talk to you!


	6. All That Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin's nosy and Mina's got such a soft spot for Annie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated, oh lord, would you look at that? Well, it's one in the morning and I'm currently half asleep, but it was worth it for you lovelies. Anyway, this is unedited. I usually edit it myself the next day, so that happens later today 'cause rn im dead af. 
> 
> Hope you like the update!

Heels clip-clopped down vast hallways, seemingly meandering through endlessly and never taking a break to glance around or question where to go. These heels are a simple black, finely polished yet worn with light reflecting off them from the myriad of chandeliers. These heels belong to an elegantly dressed second in command wearing a lace trimmed, black dress.

She stops suddenly in the middle of the corridor. Her voice echoes as she firmly says, "I know you're there."

The nearby figure smiles, delighted at having Mina point him out among the blending shadows and heavy silence. The blond comes out of his hiding place and lets out a sigh, "well, that was short lived."

Mina huffs at the appearace of the blond, "I'm sorry I wasn't amusing enough for you, Armin."

He lets out a thoughtful hum and slowly walks towards Mina; the same physical attributes of the boy she had originally known while in training meets her piercing gaze. Although, Armin's appearance all depends on what form he wants to take now. Whenever the mood strikes him he can turn into a child or shape shift into basically whatever living being he wants.

It's convenient; something that got him closer to Annie without some of the higher ups putting up a fight. Unlike Eren or Mina herself who really can't do much to necessarily protect Annie if anything were to happen.

Armin watches her with mild intrigue before speaking, "you seem quite lost in thought, care to share?"

Mina simply rolls her eyes before walking away, listening to the blond's almost non-existant footsteps turn into a crescendo of clip-clopping as he catches up to her. She immediately turns back to face Armin when she feels him grab her wrist, but her words catch in her throat as she sees a different form. Annie's pale skin remains against black silk fabric and her dainty limbs grasp at Mina's wrist tightly. Instead of Armin's wise baby blues, she gazes into the same icey blue eyes from the night before. These eyes are determined, though, whereas Annie's were hurt.

Mina audibly swallows, feebly grasping for words to escape her dry throat, "Armin," she rasps. "What do you think you're doing?"

Rosy red lips pull up in a self-satisfied smirk as Annie's lips part to speak, " proving a point," and oh, her voice is still as lovely. It's low and pleasant; a steady voice that Mina appreciates when everything gets to be too much. That's not Annie, though, and she remembers that when Armin seems to receive the response he wants.

He releases Mina's wrist and turns away from her, "don't fight together, Mina. You boldly declared you'd watch Hell while we're gone. I can guarantee that we won't be back soon either."

With that, Armin leaves quicker as opposed to his lingering appearance, shifting back into his own form while leaving Mina an emotional mess. She's leaning on a wall for support and gasping for breath as anxiety creeps up on her. Mina can hear Armin's words replaying in her head, consistently nagging-filling her with dread, yet somehow she manages to start looking for Annie.

Mina spends her day searching for the Queen throughout the castle. She checks Annie's bedroom, her office, the kitchen, etc. It's not too long before Mina concludes that it's getting late while poorly convincing herself that she can keep looking tomorrow. Least to say, Mina heads to her own personal quarters feeling dismal.

Mina opens the door to her room and doesn't quite believe what she sees. That doesn't stop the fondness that creeps up on her though because laying on her bed is Annie's sleeping form. 

The dark haired girl swiftly closes the door and locks it, slipping off her heels before making her way over to her dresser. She pulls off her black dress and lays it on a nearby chair. Next is her bra; Mina unclasps it and removes the garment while rubbing and massaging the faint pink marks in her skin right under her breasts. Mina then proceeds to put on a random nightgown and walks towards the bed.

She pulls back the covers to get in and pushes herself flush against Annie's body. Their legs are intertwined together and Mina's arms wrap around the blonde's waist. Abruptly, she feels Annie's hands move and she panics, holding her breath. Mina lets it out when she feels her face being caressed.

"You came to bed," Annie's sleepy voice whispers.

Mina timidly smiles and rests her head on the smaller one's chest, "yes I did."

She listens intently to the faint rumble in Annie's voice as she responds, "good."

A content silence lingers while Annie's fingers make their way through Mina's long hair before Mina apologizes. Annie promptly shushes her gently, "it's alright. We're here now, that's all that matters."

In their own personal moment, and in the wee hours of the morning, it truly was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll leave Annie and Mina's relationship unknown for now or maybe forever idk
> 
> Also, i get the annoying nagging feeling that im not writing in a constant tense and that's frustrating me so much because it's supposed to be present, but then i bring in some past bs and pray to jesus it makes sense and flows well
> 
> Anyway, you can find me at memes4gayteens.tumblr.com
> 
> Shoot me an ask or something maybe? Idk, nobody ever talks to me. Trust me when i tell u ur not bothering me. 
> 
> Well, thanks for reading, and do comment or something. It really motivates me. Thank you!


	7. Of Course We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's upset about having to leave home and ends up reflecting on various things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jesus lord, would you look at that? I finally updated! Whoo-whee, let me try and fumble for a proper excuse here. Yeah, I don't really have one except this chapter took so long to write because I didn't know how to get out everything I wanted. Tbqf, I am still slightly unhappy with it, but that's alright.
> 
> I hope you all like it. I'm really hoping that I'll update sooner, but I'd rather not give you all empty promises.

Everything rapidly changed.

One second Annie was laying in bed, limbs tangled with Mina's and groggily talking in hushed voices about anything and everything. They didn't want to ruin the moment, but it wasn't very long until the blonde became the demanding and ambitious ruler that she is. She quickly gathered her three companions and left Hell in Leslie's care.

The first thing she noticed about _'The Top'_ -as some of her people eloquently put it-is that it's colder. The wind is fresh, cool against Annie's pale skin as she takes in the sight of the sun because, _wow_ , she hasn't seen the sun like this in ages. It's larger than their own in Hell and brighter, but it's mostly all the same. That doesn't stop her or her companions from marveling, though. 

"It's still as beautiful as I remember," Mina breathes, her eyes wandering all over the place as if the wanderlust she's experiencing can be satisified by merely catching every detail. Annie knows her well enough to know that it's never enough, Mina's wide eyes and need to explore every end of the world seems to never be satisfied. 

It's one of the things Annie likes about her, though.

The blonde glances about at her other two companions and insantly takes notice of Eren's discomfort. She feels guilt heavy in her chest and frowns before grabbing a hold of the brunet's face and angeling it down towards her own face.

"Eren," she whispers softly. After not getting a response, Annie repeats herself more firmly. "Eren, look at me. Eren," his eyes finally meet hers and relief floods through her body.

"Look, I know that you're a creature of habit and you often pick a home and don't leave it, but this is best for you, Eren," the blonde attempts to reason.

Eren's turquoise eyes gaze at Annie like she doesn't understand, full of hurt and discontent which drives Annie mad. "I picked the castle for a reason, Annie. That's my _home_."

She doesn't say anything for a long while, her hands even fall from Eren's face as her eyes begin to lack almost all emotion like they did when she was human. All she says is two words before turning away from the brunet and sitting in the grass. Those two words leave Eren standing there for a long time, Armin attempting to coax him out of his stupor as Mina looks over at the others with worry, but sits alongside Annie.

_"And Levi?"_

Suddenly, what she's doing is starting to make sense to Eren and leaves him rather speechless for the first time in his life. Not because she cares enough to downright return them to their individual happiness, but because even though they are all she has she's still giving them all up.

All because she wants them happy again.

It's not until Armin is wiping his face with a gentle swipe of his thumb that Eren realizes he's crying. It's rather ironic to the brunet, how someone who stands for everything awful can be so kind. Back then, nobody got to freely know Annie because she had an unknown goal she had to achieve, and Eren can't even be mad at her. They're too alike, he thinks, he would have definitely done the same thing she did if it involved the people he loves.

"You understand why she's doing this now," Armin whispers softly, stating what Eren just barely came to grips with.

He's gazing beyond Eren and holding the taller's face in his hands much like Annie had done earlier. It manages to balance out his emotions this time instead of making him lash out, but Eren can't deny he'll miss his home because that's what it is. Levi is his home, too, but he found that comfort he struggled to find in Annie's large, cold castle he regards fondly. The mere thought of leaving hurts Eren magnificently, but who else is going to be there when Annie can't properly function? Sure there's Leslie, but Leslie is binded to Annie and absolutely _must_ carry out with her orders.

Eren never asked what punishment would be if Leslie didn't listen, but maybe she doesn't even know. It seems Leslie has always followed orders no matter what. Even when it left her with a sour expression and a bad taste in her mouth, or especially when Annie did something risky. She always follows orders, and Eren, he doesn't always listen and neither do the others, but that's never been a problem.

How were they going to be there for Annie when she needs them?

The question upsets Eren, and Armin must have picked up on it because he automatically begins to hush him; they stay close together, Armin promising things Eren knows he can't really keep. At least, not when it comes to Annie. She won't let them stay in contact because she's aggressively selfish yet selfless all at once-a walking contradiction that people mistake for evil.

"Listen, she doesn't need to know we're not leaving her, okay? Maybe this will help us and ultimately her in realizing we don't need to be split up, and along the way we find everyone else," Armin reasons.

Eren stares dumbfounded at the blond because there's no way it can be that easy, but that's how he makes it sound. He makes it all sound so simple, like it's right in front of him the whole time but he's searching far too hard to notice it. It's ridiculous and almost makes Eren smile, but he doesn't

Eren glances over at Annie who sits in silence a large distance away, waiting for Eren to gather himself up again. He quickly looks back at Armin and nods his head in agreement while the blond lets go of his face.

Eren heads towards Annie and Mina with Armin in tow, asking himself, how come she doesn't understand we're already happy? Of course we are, we have her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I think I just brokoro my own kokoro
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I feel it was less angsty than perhaps the others which is probs a relief??? Hey, if you wanna talk to me (which you probs don't) because for some reason you might like me (which you most likely don't) you can find me on tumblr at memes4gayteens.tumblr.com
> 
> Don't be afraid to send me a question or somethin' 'cause I'm a lonely nerd. Well, see ya. Btw I seriously love every comment and every kudos means a bunch to me. Thank you so much.


	8. Everything Will be Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all try to find out where to spend the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a filler chapter.

"What do we do now?"

Annie glanced in Mina's direction. She's gazing at the sunset right over the horizon. Her hands are curled over blades of grass and her shoes are beside her. The darker haired girl wiggles her toes in the grass and smiles gently. The breeze blows her hair past her face, but Mina relishes in it; she shuts her eyes and practically feels the Earth pulse with life with her fingertips.

"Depends on if we should start searching for the others now, or if we want to wait until tomorrow," Annie murmurs.

"I think we should wait until tomorrow to do anything," Armin suggests as Mina slips her shoes back on. 

Eren sighs in response, "where are we staying?" The brunet receives sympathetic looks because they all know that not having a stable home makes him highly uncomfortable. At this point though, Eren doesn't even care anymore. He isn't going to get what he wants right now, and he's going to have to deal with being unhappy for as long as this personal mission of Annie's lasts.

Both girls get up from their spot on the ground and brush themselves off, "there's a city nearby," Annie says.

With that, the four of them walk through the field of grass. They make their way to a children's park where there are a few children (and even teens) still out as the bright pinks and oranges mix into the sky above them. The swing set squeaks with each movement and young elementary school students shriek as they play together. Parents chat together on benches while watching over their children. the wind blows the leaves off each tree, so it smells of the beginning of autumn and each of them relaxes a bit. Everything about the city is comforting in a way: the reflections off glass buildings, the people, the shops. It reminds them in a way of how things used to be, but it also keeps them in check because they know next to nothing about this new world-this world they will never get to truly be a part of. It hurts a bit, knowing they all could have had normal lives, but instead became  _other_ things.

Eren's arms suddenly wrap around himself self-consciously as he overhears a curious child, " _mamá,_ why is that boy wearing a dress?"

The child's mother merely smiles, "because boys can wear dresses, too,  _mijo._ Doesn't he look pretty?"

That was all Eren could hear because the young boy and his mom passed by. The brunet's hold on himself loosened due to the lack of hatred he was sure was going to escape that stranger's mouth. He was surprised because it's not everyday that people accept the fact that he wears a red dress. Especially not in the human world. It's much more frowned upon whereas down in Hell, everyone lets it go once they find out that it's part of his species as a whole.

"You're alright, Eren," Armin whispers, holding out his hand. The brunet gladly holds his hand and forces a smile towards his best friend.

After a bit more walking, Annie leads them towards a hotel that seems a little  _too_ fancy. 

Mina hesitates,"can we even afford this?"

"Of course we can. I have multiple credit cards in my possession and Lesliecan help if we ever run out," Annie says while continuing to walk into the expensive hotel.

The Queen goes to the desk to ask for their rooms. Mina, Armin, and Eren wait a fair distance away, preferring to let the blonde take care of it instead. The process takes a few minutes, but soon the four of them are splitting into the two rooms Annie's payed for for an unknown amount of time. In no time, Mina and Annie are laying in bed curled up around each other. No words are said between the two of them in the dark, meanwhile, Armin tightly embraces Eren in their own room. The brunet remains restless for several hours while the blond comfortingly shushes him. They both desperately attempt to sleep if even for a moment, but Eren without his familiar environment couldn't fall asleep. There was a point where he even burst into tears while Armin reassured him everything would be alright.

That's a lie, though because as long as Eren isn't okay, Armin doesn't truly feel like everything will be alright either.


	9. We Want to Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning with Armin and Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie, this is going by super slow, but for some reason, all of this is necessary. We are just goin' scene by scene, y'all. Day by day. This is going to be a long fic now that I think about it. I haven't even introduced you all to everything else I have planned. 
> 
> *cough**cough*well, binch, maybe if you wrote longer chapters that wouldn't be a future problem*cough*
> 
> That's not happening any time soon, let's be real. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy.

Something is tickling Eren's nose.

He reflexively scrunches up his face and huffs, turning his head. Something smells like the ocean:salt, the tide, the breeze. It tugs at something in Eren's heart and subconscious, like a long lost memory right before everything became utterly awful. His hands begin to sweat, anxiety rising as he dwells on his past life. His heart races and the past keeps resurfacing, making his chest ache with a certain sadness. A sadness so faint and yet, unbelievably profound. Eren frowns and decides to finally open his eyes, squinting at the dull light coming through the white curtains on the other side of the room. His gaze then lands on Armin, the source of his discomfort from the moment he woke up (the blond's hair had been tickling his nose), and the scent also coming from the small boy currently wrapped up in Eren. To be fair, they were both tangled up in each other; feet intertwined and Armin's head resting in the juncture between Eren's neck and shoulder. Everything is warm and safe. 

 _Everything feels like home,_ Eren thinks suddenly. 

His eyes widen at the thought. God, he's such a sap. What can he say, though? He loves his friends so much. They're his home when the cold world tears him apart from the inside-out.

"What are you thinking about so early?" A sleepy voice asks.

Eren immediately focuses on Armin, watching fondly as his best friend rubs at his eyes with a yawn.

Eren lets out a yawn, too, "nothing. You remind me of the ocean."

The blonde glances up at Eren when he says that as if waiting for something else. After a moment of silence, Armin looks away from Eren, slight disappointment apparent on his features.

"We went to the beach. It was beautiful," he begins. "But it was also shit"

After that, Armin doesn't say anything else, and Eren lets it be. It's not his place to ask for more details. Clearly the beach is something far grander than the brunet can remember yet. In a way, remembering but having pieces of what happened absent is a blessing. Eren, in the beginning, was saved quite a bit of trauma due to his own defense mechanisms, but they don't last forever. Unfortunately, Eren became increasingly aware of what had occurred in his past life throughout the years. 

It was hell. It's still hell.

"I'll remember eventually, Armin, I swear," he says.

Armin merely stares up at the ceiling blankly, "you don't want to remember. Not this one."

Eren felt a wave of sympathy wash over him. Of course he completely understands what Armin means. Sometimes there are such important moments from their last life that remains equally terrible. No matter how remarkable the event, it still remains a traumatic experience that would best be left in the past. 

The brunet sits up from his spot on their shared hotel bed and slides of the edge of the bed. Eren's toes briefly wiggle in between the fibers of the carpet below his bare feet. He then stands up and raises his arms above his head stretching. His form is tan and lanky, less well built than when he was in the Survey Corps. He, personally, thinks that's a good thing. At least now he can have a more decent life compared to when everyone he loved and himself had to go against titans. At least now they don't have to sacrifice so much. At least now he isn't Humanity's Last Hope-a title he once bore with pride now a title he has come to resent. That title cost Eren so much, and it took all of the hope he himself had with it. 

How ironic is that? He was Humanity's Hope, but he ran out of hope before he even noticed.

Eren began pulling on his simple red dress that was placed on one of the chairs in the room. He slept in only his underwear last night which didn't bother Armin at all considering they've done that since they can remember. Eren distinctly hears the blonde slowly slide out of bed and the shuffling of clothes. After attempting to smooth out his dress, Eren turns around, catching sight of Armin's pale skin and all the scars that no longer remain. They both had their fair share of scars and bruises. God, sometimes it was worse than that. At times, their wounds were death threatening and undoubtedly gruesome.

Gruesome. What a word. Eren doesn't think it captures all the blood, all the horror, the smell or the the actual scene. It doesn't capture his tears, wide eyes, or shock. It doesn't capture the violent heaving that escaped Jean one day, or the meltdown Annie had. None of it is presented;therefore, Eren has grown to prefer actions over words. If only because nobody has been able to properly express to him the power words hold and the power that accompanies silence. 

"Levi liked to write," he catches himself saying aloud.

Armin, who was already dressed and making the bed, abruptly stopped. The blond looked up from his task to focus on Eren who, prior to his outburst, had been spacing out. He seemed like he didn't have anything to say about the random bit of information, but eventually he spoke. "Did he write to you?"

Eren's face falls in a way that can only be interpreted as mournful, his mouth in a prominent frown. He dejectedly nodded his head, a downhearted smile gracing his lips at the painful memories. "Yeah, he did. He was emotionally constipated in person, but I don't know, on paper he expressed himself better. He had a beautiful way with words."

 _I wonder if he still writes,_ Eren thinks distantly, among all his emotional turmoil.

Armin nods his head, but otherwise remains quiet. They don't have to make conversation, though, because soon there's a knock at their door and their officially on their way to start looking for everyone, or have breakfast. Eren could honestly go for some breakfast after all the bullshit he's put himself through this morning. Armin agrees, Eren doesn't know if it's partially for his sake, but he's immensely grateful as they head out of the hotel. 

They all just want to forget for a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so angsty, man. In all honesty, this was supposed to be a cute fic with no sadness/minimal sadness. Now look at it.
> 
> Oh well. Pls leave kudos or comments or even both! I love comments. If you leave me a comment I'll love you forever, I swear, they make my day.
> 
> Oh, btw, Eren's dress looks like this: http://previews.123rf.com/images/kladyk/kladyk1403/kladyk140300038/27305565-Girl-with-a-wreath-on-his-head-in-a-red-dress-She-is-fabulous--Stock-Photo.jpg 
> 
> I also am not going to clarify if Eren has his Titan hair or not right now in this part of the fic because I find it unnecessary.
> 
> Anyway, if you wanna talk about the fic somewhere else or have some questions or even a prompt based on this my tumblr is memes4gayteens.tumblr.com thanks for reading


	10. We'll be Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're having breakfast and Eren almost has a panic attack because everything is overwhelming and wow he really loves his friends wtf????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um.......
> 
> I'm back??? Lol
> 
> Please read the end notes.

"So, what do we do?" Eren asks after he's taken a bite from his pancakes.

Armin's eyebrows furrow as he gives the brunet an exasperated look. After all, they are in a crowded area with a bunch of mortals. They can't be careless about what they say. People are nosy and the last thing they need is someone overhearing their conversation.

Annie doesn't seem bothered at all, though. She keeps her voice low so only the four of them at the booth can hear.

"Honestly, I don't think we should stay in the Human world right now."

Mina tilts her head in curiosity, "why not?"

Annie shrugs, "what are the chances of the others being human if we're not?"

For a moment, nobody says anything. They all merely pause in thought. If none of them turned out to be human, what are the chances that the other's are? Of course, that doesn't rule out that one of them might be human, but there's unimaginable possibilities now. How can they find everyone if that's the case?

Suddenly, the entire task becomes unbearably overwhelming. 

Eren feels anxiety claw at his chest and build up in his throat. He no longer wants to eat his breakfast, and he certainly doesn't want to continue this search. It's been less than a day and already he's had enough. The brunet just wants to go home. He barely got any sleep last night and his eyes are still heavy due to all of the goddamn crying he did.

"Eren," Armin's stern voice and grip on his wrist brings him out of his thoughts.

It's too late, though because Eren is freaking out. His breathing is coming out short and frantic. God, no, he can't panic in front of all these people. What are they going to think?

"Eren, hon, I need you to breathe," a soft voice says. It's soothing and his breath stutters as hands grab a hold of his. A thumb rubs against the side of his hand affectionately while someone whispers reassurances.

"There we go. Good job, Eren. You're doing so good right now. Breathe in, now breathe out. I'm so proud of you, Eren. Look at you. You're doing great, sweetie."

Gentle hands cup his face while someone breathes in and out with him until he's less nauseous. Eren's skin buzzes with anxiety still, but he's no longer suffocating. He's breathing regularly again as his eyes flutter open. The brunet isn't sure when he shut his eyes, but when he finally opens them he's staring straight into a familiar shade of pale blue.

Annie is leaning across the table with his face in her hands, her expression clearly worried. When Eren looks at her, she immediately softens. Her concern melts into something more akin to relief. 

She sits right back down as if nothing happened, ignoring the stares of those who witnissed her moment with Eren. To an outsider it simply looked like a girlfriend doting on her boyfriend. Annie doesn't really care what complete strangers think of her, though. If she did care she wouldn't have survived as Queen of Hell.

Eren suddenly looks up from his food in surprise when something under the table nudges his foot. He glances across at Annie who's coincidentally absorbed in her chocolate chip pancakes. Eren knows better, though because her foot is resting against his ankle as an odd form of comfort.

Eren resists the urge to smile as he realizes that Annie is so painfully fond of all of them.

Mina abruptly clears her throat, gaining everyone's attention. She flushes slightly, her rosy lips pursing into a pout before speaking.

"I know this is extemely hard for you, Eren, but we will be here for you when things become too much to bare."

Something tender blooms in Eren's fingertips as Armin nods his head in agreement. 

Eren hums, "thank you."

Armin then leans into Eren and interlocks their fingers. He doesn't let go as the rest of their meal goes by uneventfully with comfortable chatter. Eren is able to finally relax and Annie's foot never leaves it's spot against his own. Even Mina appears visibly less dismal than she'd previously been.

They eventually leave the restaurant after a while with Annie practically glued to Eren's side the entire time. The brunet knows that this is her way of apologizing. Eren figures that he should be angry. No, he knows he should be. But he's not. He can't possibly be angry when Annie's so graceful in her pretty black dress and heels with her hair pinned up in the same bun as always. He can't be angry when Annie is all rounded edges and adoring touches and lingering stares. Not when she's holding his hand now and completely focused on making sure he feels better.

He can't be angry at Annie. Not when she's hurting herself in order to make them happy even though they're what makes  _her_ happy.

Eren lets out a sigh and Annie looks up at him instantly, her head tilted towards him.

"Alright, if we're doing this, where are we going first?"

Annie's eyes widen at his words, and Eren can't help but grin at her. Armin breathes out a laugh as Mina cheers in excitement right beside him. Mina's eyes crease in her uncontained joy. The sunlight compliments her lovely features, and Eren's chest constricts at how beautiful they are.

Eren sighs internally. God, he's got the biggest fucking platonic crush on all of them. The things he'll do for his friends is crazy, but he knows it's all reciprocated.

It makes his decision so much more bearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ik it's been a really long time. 
> 
> I'm sorry.
> 
> I just wasn't feeling motivated to write and school takes up basically all of my time. That or when I had the time to write, I didn't want to because I thought it didn't matter if I updated or not. 
> 
> Stupid of me to think that, right? There are obviously quite a few of you who actually enjoy this even though it's slow paced and updates inconsistently. But idk. I just felt really unmotivated. I think the issue stems from the lack of response I get sometimes. I thrive off comments and all of your thoughts on each chapter and what you thought and how it made you feel because then I feel better about sharing a part of my shitty creative mind with all of you. I feel less like I'm just putting something out there and getting nothing in return and maybe that's super selfish of me, but oh well. I'm being honest. 
> 
> I really love this fic ngl. I love everything i have in store for it and who I've decided is going to be a sylph or an angel, etc. I love all of it. I love piecing together what happens next because even tho i have a list of bulletpoints I have absolutely no outline for this fic at all. But I'm slowly running out of steam. I don't want to stop tho. I will keep writing for now, but I can only hope that I don't begin to feel dejected when I don't get a response from a new update anymore.
> 
> To those of you who take the time to kudos/comment, thank you. I really mean it. It means so much to me. Thank you. Please appreciate all fanfiction writers, not just me. If you honestly enjoy a work on here take the time to leave a simple, "hey, i really enjoyed this." It makes a huge difference. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope to update this sooner this time. Until next time

**Author's Note:**

> This is my latest idea, and I'm actually really excited to write it, so I hope you like this as much as I do.


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